today I learned:

  • thomas edison taught his second wife morse code so they could communicate in secret by tapping into each other’s hands when her family was around. which really means he just didn’t like her family and didn’t know another language to rudely talk about them in front of them.
  • jackie chan’s mother was an opium smuggler and his father was a spy.
  • usain bolt ate nothing but chicken nuggets while he was in beijing because that was “the only thing he knew”. he won 3 gold metals. this means you can eat nothing but chicken nuggets and win gold medals, folks.
  • the engine on the BMW M5 is so quiet the company plays fake engine noises through the speakers to “remind” drivers of their car’s performance. WOW. this is what they’ll probably have to do for electric cars too. we’re suckers.
  • a new economic study of nielsen television ratings and birth records suggests that the show “16 and Pregnant,” and its spinoffs may have prevented more than 20,000 births to teenage mothers in 2010. it also prevented, like, 100,000 births to regular, in university-aged mothers because it reminded us how awful it is to have a baby and no money. thank you, irresponsible teenage moms. I’ll stop watching when I’m 33 and financially stable.

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