today I learned:
- tap water in canada is held to a higher health standard than bottled water. QUIT BUYING BOTTLED FRIGGIN WATER. please.
- human saliva contains a painkiller that is 6 times more potent than morphine. holy. friggin. hell. and all this time while I’ve been letting my dog lick my wounds, I could have just asked my friends…
- bill murray hired a deaf-mute personal assistant just to annoy those around him.
- tibetans have a gene mutation that may represent the strongest instance of documented evolution in humans.
- in australia, weird al’s “eat it” reached number one on the music charts while “beat it” (the original ya cave[wo]men) only got to number 3. this is a real win for funny white gingies. or a real loss for talented, white-but-black-at-the-same-time jackson.
- netflix monitors bittorrent to decide which shows to purchase for the site. awesome. sew smart.
- the chainsaw was originally designed as a medical tool used in symphysiotomy- the widening of a woman’s pelvis to aid in childbirth. it was also invented and used before anaesthetic even existed. yeah. my poor vagina has retreated into my cervix. it’s ok, baby. shhhh, the fear will pass. the fear will pass.
- pom-pom crabs are named for their tendency to wave around stinging sea anemones in their claws to protect themselves against predators. cute as hell.
- the inventor of the fleshlight created it to extract semen from horses. no I will not explain to you what a fleshlight is. ask your parents. or grandparents. or brother. or sister. or another family member. yeah, do that.