the ancient babylonians took their beer so seriously, if a brewer was found to be watering down his beer, he’d either be drowned in the barrel or forced to keep drinking it till he died. sounds fair to me…
in 1974 jane goodall observed a social rift in a community of chimpanzees turn into a violent 4 year civil war for territory involving kidnapping, rape and murder, changing her perception of chimpanzees. it is known as the “gombe chimpanzee war”.
there’s something called the ‘popsicle index’–a quality of life measurement based on the percentage of parents who feel that their child can safely walk to the nearest store and buy a popsicle by themselves. I like this.
in france and belgium, there is a folk character called “the whipping father” who accompanies st. nicholas. he beats naughty children with sticks and carries them away in a bag. way to ruin christmas, guys.
the rhinoceros party of canada, a satirical, federally registered political party in canada, received 1.01% of the popular vote in the 1980 federal election campaigning to repeal the law of gravity and provide higher education by building taller schools, among other promises. that’s hilarious.
a charging elephant broke down the door and a wall of a home in India, but immediately stopped when it heard a baby crying. it then cleaned up the debris from the child using its trunk and then “peacefully” returned to the forest. wow.
“porn judge” is an official chinese government job title. judges are paid $32,000 per year to view porn all day and have the sacred task of “returning the internet to a clean and safe state”. on a related note, one porn judge’s name is “wang dong”. mmm that’s some good reality right there.
in order to discover that penguins sleep more deeply in the afternoon, scientists crept up on sleeping king penguins at different times of the day and poked them with a stick until they woke up. SUCH A SCIENTIFIC MODEL OF DISCOVERY.
a lobsters brain is located in its throat, its nervous system in its abdomen, its teeth in its stomach and its kidneys in its head. It also hears using its legs, tastes with its feet, and tends to favour one front limb, meaning they can be right-clawed or left-clawed. well then.
in 1965, andre the giant received a draft notice for french’s peace time army, but was unable to join as there were no shoes big enough, bunks long enough, or trenches deep enough to accommodate him. shucks. COULDA WON THAT WON GUYS.
mob boss john gotti’s youngest son was hit by a neighbours car while riding a mini bike, and killed. not long after the accident the neighbor went missing and has never been found. JEE I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED.
new research showing cannabis use shown NOT to lower IQ (even though IQ is a poor measure of intelligence…whatever intelligence is…), even with heavy use. alcohol, on the other hand…
in the english language, multiple adjectives are supposed to be listed in the following order: quantity, opinion, size, age, shape, colour, origin, material, purpose. WELL I’VE BEEN DOING IT ALL WRONG. and will continue to.
in russia (and america) many doctors “treat” alcoholism by surgically implanting a small capsule into their patients. the capsules react so severely with alcohol that once the individual has even the smallest amount, they react as if they were going through heroin withdrawal. it’d be great if alcoholism weren’t often just a symptom of emotional pain…..sigh
a self-made millionaire named harris rosen “adopted” a florida neighbourhood, tangelo park. he cut the crime rate in half, increased the high school graduation rate from 25% to 100% by giving everyone free daycare and high school graduate scholarships.
an employee of the company that was hired to organize the mcdonald’s monopoly game rigged it for 5 years, and admitted to anonymously (not so anonymously anymore) sending the $1 million game piece to st. jude children’s hospital in memphis. WHAT A COLD-BLOODED CRIMINAL.